Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
