he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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