So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm at about main and main street
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
