I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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