I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
