Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
