We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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