making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
