I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize