oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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