So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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