why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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