They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
