Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
