Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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