The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
