cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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