You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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