i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize