That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
