I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
