well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can't turn off my feet"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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