If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
