how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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