I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
