what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
