Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
