you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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