I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
