I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize