what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
