What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
