just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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