just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
