thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
