Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
jump out the window naked night went bad
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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