is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
