All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
