If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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