She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
