It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
