I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
