He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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