Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
