when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
