Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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