Duck Duck Cougar?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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