She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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