That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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