break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
