So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
