Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Boobs are out for the taking
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
