Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
