if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
