its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
