i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
