We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
