wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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