I hate your face
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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