The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
