It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
