that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize