I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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