Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
soo... how was my night?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
