this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
