i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
